Tragedy,-- April 8, 2010

It is with a heavy, sad heart that I write this tonight. Please bear with me, as I process tonight's horrific events.

First of all, I need to go back a few days and blog about the young man who lived 6 blocks from here who was killed. Fr. Jack had just told us that there's not been any killing/violence for almost 2 years between the gangs. Well, Sunday morning, actually at 3am when we were preparing for Easter mass, a young man was shot an killed. His funeral was on Tuesday, and we watched the funeral procession.

Tonight, after supper, I was helping Braeden with some homework. He was doing OK without me, so I sat in a chair to supervise and began reading a book that I started. It's a very exciting murder/mystery, and I was engrossed in the book. I looked up and Braeden was gone, and so I got up to see what time it was. It was 10:30pm....bed check...Brookston, check. Brinley, check. Bridger, check. Braeden........outside. I could see our host mom and dad and brother Tony were out there watching him practice soccer in the street. So I made a cup of coffee and took it outside to tell Braeden it was time to come in for the night.

I was standing on the doorstep, when I heard it. It was like a bomb going off right next to me. I turned my head toward the sound, and then I saw it. A flash. A boom. A flash. A boom. A flash, a boom. Oh my God, someone is shooting a gun! I watched as a young man stumbled backwards, around the corner out of my line of vision. Is this happening? No way. Can't be. This is not real! My immediate thought was, where is Braeden???!!!! Not outside. OK. He's safe. Then it began. Total chaos. People started hollering and running in all directions. I stared to my right, as the shooter began to walk towards us. The incident was only 2 doors down, so it was close. I thought, Really? Seriously? He has a gun in his right hand and he's walking towards us. Nobody is moving. Why isn't anyone moving??!! I then slowly backed into the safety of the foyer, and was going to hide, but my curiosity got the best of me. I looked out the non-window (cut-out in the bricks) and saw him. He was walking very stoic, no facial expression whatsoever. He was 20 feet from me...10, 9, .....he looked at me. He saw me. He was calm. Too calm, I thought. Behind him I then see about 20 people shouting and running after him. He began to run, and they all disappeared around the other corner of our block. I began to walk towards the shooting site. My brother Tony, said, "NO!" I looked at him questioningly, and said, "YES! I am a nurse, and someone has been shot. He is hurt and I need to see if I can help." Tony again said firmly, "NO!" So I'm thinking, What the h***??!! Why not? The shooter is gone! I pleaded with Tony, "Please let me go!" Then my house dad said, "NO! (in spanish, It's too dangerous!)" I stood there totally helpless, shaking. This is not happening. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes, four......then the police arrived.

To my horror, Isabelle gets out of the truck and starts hollering at our neighbor. When I gathered what the issue was, I was literally sick. My heart sank to my stomach. (Isabelle is the mother of my little Stephanie, (10) who we've helped financially over the years.) Isabelle was hysterical and saying that it was her son who was shot. (He's about 22 years old and NOT a good kid.....he and his buddies were standing on the corner harrassing people off and on for the last few weeks. I was physically grabbed twice on Sunday night by them. I had my house dad Julio walk with me to go and get Brinley and Bridger that night). Tonight, they were at it again, and tried to rob my house mom Mercedes just 10 minutes before the boy was shot.

So Isabelle is hysterical and ranting in Spanish, I grabbed her by the arms and said, "Where is Stephanie?!" She opened the back door to the police truck, and there she was. My little, precious Stephanie! She was sobbing. I held out my arms and she grabbed for me, melting into my arms and chest, sobbing. I carried her over to a light post, and I sat on the dirt ground, rocking her and crying with her. It's just not fair! No little child should have to see their brother shot, or should have to go through this! I wiped her tears and tried to tell her everything will be OK, but will it? I don't have any idea. Her brother was pretty much thrown into a taxi right after being shot, and was on his way to the hospital.

As I sat and rocked her, the whole world seemed to pass by with my minimal awareness.....many people running in all directions looking for the shooter. Our immediate next door neighbors being questioned by the police (it was the son of our next door neighbor who was the shooter). The loud sobs of Isabelle, afraid for her son's life, and the friends of the victim, wanting revenge. All I could think of was this precious child in my arms, trusting me and looking to me for hope and comfort.

Isabelle and Stephanie soon left with the police, and I was left there shaking. I had never been so close to a violent crime. How do I begin to process? I need a drink. No, I need two drinks. No, I can't drink. I need to stay clear-headed. I was starting to relax a little, when Tony came in and said, "Can you help? We need your help now!" I thought, "What now??!!" Well, the mother of the shooter (our next door neighbor) was having a panic attack. So I went into their home and did my nursing assessment with what I had.....which was not much! She was breathing very rapidly, and her pulse was racing and thready. OK. Think. What can I do? What do I know?? We located a BP cuff and I took her BP...not too alarming. She had numbness and tingling in her extremeties, and her breathing was labored and rapid. OK. No paper bags. Found a plastic bag and had her breathe into it. Couldn't hurt. As her breathing slowed, her pulse did as well. She began to relax......too much. Oh my God, I can't feel a pulse! There it is, no--it's not....yes it is....Oh crap! What to do next?? There's no 911 to call. Her other sons are here and I am in a very bad situation! BP cuff is gone....no way to check vitals...check CMS...perfusion to feet and hands was minimal. No capillary refill noted. I tried in my best Spanglish to explain to her sons that she needs to go to the hospital. She was rubbing her chest.....Oh my God...she's gonna have a heart attack right here...right now...God, what do I do next? Her son (who is mentally ill) was telling me "no hospital." OK then. Great. Just then, Tony was at the door. "You need to come here now." HUH? NOW? She's not well.....I may need to start CPR. ....."right now." OK, OK....."please excuse me for one minute" I tell them. I exit the door, and Tony practically drags me back to our house. He tells me that the "gang" who now wants revenge on the son/family was at their door and almost in, when someone called for them and they retreated....."Whew! OK. Had enough of this." I was told that her daughter is a nurse and was on her way......THANK YOU GOD!

So I sit here now blogging about this experience, hoping that putting my thoughts and feelings into words will allow me to relax enough to sleep. It's 2:30am and I am wide awake. I hear people outside in the neighborhood talking, and I wonder what they are saying.

I guess tomorrow (or later today) will tell more.....hope to have a progress update on the older lady next door and on the shooting victim.

I know this story seems very scary, and it definately was/is, but I hold my position that this is a pretty safe neighborhood! Everyone looks out for each other. With the exception of those (drunk) young boys on the corner a few times, all has been well. For now, my plan is to walk the other direction to the parroquia (if need be) if it's after 7pm. As always, I will do my best to keep my kids safe. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

Until later,
Letty